Ellie goulding tour name
They wouldn’t play your record if you didn’t go there. “Fly to Belgium where you’ll do this radio, then to France at 6am, and straight to Germany. It was a social crutch too – “a party, dinner or event, I don’t think I’ve ever been to any of those without having had a drink” – and her calendar was filling up. My cover of Your Song I probably did, and Anything Can Happen.” I’ve definitely written songs while I’ve been drunk that have resonated with people. It’s just impossible to write music if you’re critiquing what you’re doing as you’re writing.
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“I don’t know many musicians who aren’t fuelled by something in the studio,” she says. I’ve definitely written songs drunkĪlcohol started to become a fairly constant, if never dangerous, presence.
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It was out of control I didn’t feel I could just come out and say: ‘Well, you don’t take me seriously enough.’ It just spiralled.” I don’t know many musicians who aren’t fuelled by something in the studio. ‘Who’s Ellie Goulding dating now?’ would be more interesting to people than how many records I sold, or a song going to No 1, or my tours. Goulding says all the chatter “did get in the way. He never named her, but sprinkled obvious hints and later admitted “everyone fucking knows” who it’s about.
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And so that protection came in the form of men, of partners.” She chose people “that I felt could relate to the situation I was in” as a young and scrutinised star: music industry men such as One Direction’s Niall Horan, McFly’s Dougie Poynter, the Radio 1 DJ Greg James and the dance producer Skrillex.īy the time of her second album, she was a gossip magazine mainstay, exacerbated by Ed Sheeran painting her as promiscuous in his hit song Don’t. “I think on top of not having a dad, I needed protection.
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I really was programmed into thinking that that was part of how to succeed.” With an absent father after her parents divorced when she was five, and a rocky relationship with her mother and stepfather, she had no shield. This left her feeling that being sexualised “was what one of my strengths had to be. And there are so many female singers that will hear me saying that and say: ‘Yeah, I can relate.’” My whole career started off with instantly being made to feel like a sexual object, and being made to feel vulnerable in those sessions. Other sessions would have alcohol and it would get to a point where the man would say something suggestive and I’d feel uncomfortable. I’d have to laugh it off – I constantly had to laugh things off. “I wouldn’t be able to get home because I couldn’t afford it, and they would say: ‘You can stay.’ But there would always be the suggestion of something.
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“And I was like, why? I didn’t see myself as an object of desire.” He and others preyed upon her vulnerability as a 19-year-old keen to make it. “The first producer I met wanted to sleep with me,” she says. She says she was foolish not to ally herself with the #MeToo movement earlier – “I was a bit too scared, I thought maybe I would be judged” – because she had those experiences, too. Meetings with other producers weren’t so charmed. A Brit award and a No 1 debut album in 2010 quickly followed as the industry’s gears whirred excitedly into motion. She had a “brother and sister” connection with Starsmith, and the combination of his electronic production and her songs, sung with that uniquely sweet-yet-careworn voice, won her a major label deal. I have to sometimes pretend.” But “music chose me”, she says, and she started “playing guitar manically every night, writing manically”, going to open mic nights, putting her songs on MySpace and messaging producers to help bring them to fruition. “I don’t know if that ever really goes away. “Singing seemed to be a way for me to have confidence while not being confident,” she says. Photograph: John Rainford/GC ImagesĪfter growing up in a council house in a Herefordshire village, Goulding initially wanted to act and studied drama, “but I was painfully shy”, so she became a huge pop star. Goulding and Caspar Jopling on their wedding day in York in 2019.